Knee

Knees, kind of useful. Walking would be harder without them and steps nigh impossible. All sorts of imagery abounds in the arena of knees and kneeling, some of your minds are already there. (Whatever shall I do with you?) Now, to be fair, kneeling figures prominently in this arena in a number of ways just as “taking a knee” does in the sporting world. These images may be fun but they aren’t among the current swirl on my mind. That swirl contains (in part) some related imagery though that may be useful. No need to waste good knees however so sit on your sitter and let’s see if my braincell can get this to make sense.

A lot of my past haunts me (for the lack of a better word) at this time each year. A montage of things best left behind come to the fore. Thoughts, images, memories and moments reappear. With or without my approval, I know it changes how I perceive, process and act for a few days as I ride the “way back” machine. That ride returns me to that mindset. Oh well…. it kept me alive so I won’t knock it. At this point “So what?” is a fair question. Let’s answer it and tie two thoughts together.

Discipline is a wonderful thing. Acting and reacting without conscious effort can make a big difference in whether or not you are around to ride the “way back” on Memorial Day in the future. The experience that allows you to know when to stand and lead and when to take a knee (mentally) and follow. The experience and discipline that sees you know reflexively when to kneel at cover and when to stand and fire. These play together in an ever changing way to get you through a moment, a task and a day successfully. That success is where leadership wants you to be and so it is with any form of submission.

A submissive is anyone following the command of another. It is an accurate description to say that submission brought me to those moments just as it did the ones I tend to ponder this time of year. That same submission plays out in some way in virtually all relationships. An odd connection perhaps but also a totally fair one.

A submissive need not be weak, I would have been of little value if I were. Their strength defines their value in large part. Their submission comes in taking that knee before the leadership of another. The value lies in the discipline to take the knee and the courage to face the tasking. Leadership needs to see and know these skills and task the follower accordingly. The symbiosis can not occur as both stand or if both take a knee. Only by each utilizing their strengths correctly at the right time can they be prepared to go forward successfully. Each must know and act out their role but, together, oh the fun they can have….

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Good Girl!

Maybe that should have a question mark at the end. Let me see if I can get this thought to make sense before I fall asleep. Going to bed really early again but doing it with a smile tonight. That smile will be explained in a minute but background is needed first.

The ever thought provoking Missy had written yet another winner when I checked in on her the other day. (After far too long I should add.) I will let her put in a link to it as WP no longer allows me that luxury but I’ll give the idea out now.

She wrote of her loving gentleman and his use of “that voice”. Any submissive who has been around a dominant knows exactly what voice I mean. Kinda gives you chills doesn’t it? Funny she wrote it because I had thought about such more and more in recent months only from my perspective. Ever pondered my side of the fence? Here, let me help you over so you can have a look see.

The smile was caused by smelly girl. I am her leader and she is my follower. Daddys and little girls are the same you know… Now, she set me up today. She did it very well, bidded her time and made me really proud of her. Running over after, the hug and response was exactly as she hoped. She did we and earned that reward! Good Girl!

There is little difference between her actions and the lady’s post. Both spurred me on to do my part. Remember when I showed y’all active submission? It takes many forms and we all do it at some point. It could be what they did or putting change in a machine for a snack. In each instance there is action and result. So, what the hey does any of this have to do with that voice? Well, for the result desired you must give something. Hmmmmmm…..

Know your dominant. Know them like they know you. Use YOUR voice. Do they love notes? Write them a letter. Do they respond to a color? Wear it! They are human and that voice is around much more often when prompted. Simply waiting for it while doing nothing will result in one of three outcomes and none of them are fun for you. So, get going girls but, before you scurry to far….

Don’t forget the human bit I mentioned. Some of you have loving leaders to whom the dominant bit isn’t native, they still have desires. In all cases, LISTEN,LOOK, LEARN and EARN. I’m smiling tonight as I hit publish for no other reason than the girl who heard Daddy’s voice today did just that. Ok, now scurry off to study.

Good Guys

Know how a toddler waves? That cupped hand with fingers going up and down? Cute isn’t it? Haven’t had time to say much for awhile but I will say “hello”. Sadly it won’t include anything nearly so endearing. Anywho, thought a moment from earlier this week might suffice instead.

Stopped for a light early one morning. It was at a high speed intersection of a four lane road with both directions having turning lanes on either side of the travel lanes. I was in the left lane and second in line. Good thing as (at that time of morning and at that location) there were thirty plus vehicles in each lane before the light turned green.

When it turned green the car in front of me did not move and so I sat patiently. A head with a phone attached popped out of the drivers window after about 10 seconds. It was talking at me but (lacking superhuman hearing) I heard nothing. Okie dokie…, flashers on, vest on, out I go to see what is going on in this young ladies world. Hmmmm…., no gas, a busy road with distracted drivers an the push to safety will be uphill. Grumble….

I stepped back to let the vehicle behind me know to go around. Smelling a problem, his lights came on and he hopped out, same for the one behind him! Bless the working guys, gotta love the “been there” before” class. “What do we do?” Hmmmm…., quick look and…. “y’all push left across traffic to the wide runoff over there.” “Traffic?” “They are about to stop. Miss, put it in neutral and turn left. Go where I point. Ready?” Thumbs up and we are off.

Lookie there, oncoming traffic decided it was a good day to stay stopped on light after it turned green. Go figure… Safely in the grass, traffic flowing and the lady in park I told the gentleman we were good. “But you never know who you are helping. Look in the rear window.” They stood and looked to see a 1yo boy doing that little toddler wave. He had been trying to say “hi” all the way over.

One never really knows just who their actions might influence I suppose.

“Strutter”

For those of a certain age and stage that word makes a certain song appear on the minds radio with the smack of an unexpected KISS. Not bad at all, welcomed actually. One girl knows how to turn on that radio with ease and here is one of my favorites of all the ways where she pushes that button.

Pull in the drive after a long day and you see the door open as Grumpy is backed in and idled for a moment to cool. In the midst of that door’s crack a sly grin appears. It pets the dogs before sashaying down the steps and dancing the length of the walk. She’ll open truck door as I shut Grumpy down and crawl into my lap for a good floppy hug. (Widely known to be the best type.) After a bit she’ll pull up for a tight hug and kiss before saying “I love you Daddy”. “Love you to Girl”.

Yep, I’m home. She’s here. Wonder how the dogs are. Maybe we should check their bellys then swing as the sun sets. Not a bad way to see off a day.

Here me roar

Yep, still busy. Haven’t written much as several of you have reminded me. Haven’t even been by much. Don’t like that. Months without a day off and very little time for sleep even helps one prioritize quickly. Think I just remembered why I don’t have TV! Oh but I miss my books…..

Shall write elsewhere one that’s been on my mind awhile. Here was just to let you know that much is missing in my world but that there had been some positive after five years of downward slide. While a part of me is gone for good the remainder is improving. Slowly but surely with good seen in every day.

Hope you have been well in my absence.

Dominance defined (?)

The title has a question mark for a reason. This post is an oddity insomuch as a thought crosses my mind for something to share and it is inevitably accompanied by a summation/title. Can’t recall ever having to think of a title before. Twenty possibilities crossed my mind but none (this included) seemed fitting. Regardless of that niggling annoyance I’m carrying on because of the mice in the room listening intently. An important thought crossed my mind and it occurred to me that it may have never (as a fully formed awareness) crossed yours. So……

In reading the thoughts of a Mouse lately I got a useful reminder. I often hear of the “leather pants and sunglasses” set that their submissive (or submissives in general) should be seen but not heard. I hear from submissives who have been approached by “dominants” who wish to give instructions without accepting questions. The list ways this varies seems as open as the breadth of the mind and yet the gist is the same. A person wanting what they want with now questions asked. Ever. Yeah, right.

Here’s what you need to keep firmly in mind to succeed….

Let’s use me as an example for a moment. I have no problem requesting my desires and expecting they be met as specified. Pretty good at it actually. But, those commands come from a place of confidence. It’s a very important place and one to note carefully. Why does it exist? Would I strike you as one who would give orders to someone I just met? Would I ever give them willy-nilly? Would they ever be strictly (and always) for my good? Would they be with disregard for the other? Odd thoughts but odd thoughts with and purpose.

Ever good dominant I have ever known shared a singular trait. They seek input, thoughts and feedback. They want to know what’s on their toy’s mind. It seems that we can easily read a submissive far easier than they can read themselves but we don’t know each random thought or opinion and yet we want to. Actually, in many ways, we have a need to. This bit is at the core of our acts as a leader. It allows us to be who you lust for. How so? Good question.

Without the knowledge that open, fair, thoughtful sharing exists on all levels, leadership stops. It cannot be carried forward safely and sanely without this input. A good dominant simply knows this. If you can’t tell them about a problem at work, how can they trust you regarding levels of pain? If you can’t be open about a family problem, how can they trust your feedback on rigging? With a communicating submissive, the sky is the limit, with something slightly less you pause and, with one you are unsure of you stop. This can be a partner you met last month, last year or in the ’80’s!

So, herein is the rub for submissives blessed with a good dominant. You might just be the brake pedal that was pushed. Honest introspection and conversation is always useful. For those looking, remember what I said. Think about it A LOT. Anyone expecting blind devotion based on their “skill” is fooling themselves, don’t let them fool YOU! be very, very careful. If they aren’t interested in your thoughts at the dinner table, what does that say about later.

So, for one group, don’t deny your dominant what is needed for you both to thrive. For the other, deny the fool that wants to be your dominant. Questions?

Bullseye?

‘Tis cold and wet and I have a moment free so…., a thought from today reemerges.

Is there someone you love, someone you can’t imagine life without?

Ponder that you exist as individuals yet between you lies a relationship. That relationship is where your adoration lies. It, like any place, is imperfect. There are moments when your frustration with that other person is palpable. Oftentimes this emerges in word or deed and, once out, escalates. Oh boy does the perfect retort at the right moment feel good….. That perfection has a price however.

See, you’re a lousy shot, you missed them and hit the relationship you cherish so. It’s wounded in the process. Hurt it bad enough and you’ll kill it. No one really wants to say goodbye to a beloved pet now do they? Yet a relationship, like a pet, can be something we outlast. Our words and deeds aimed at others only hit our relationships. Their target heals and moves on and, all to often, we (as bad actors) are left to bury something we loved.

Unless you have property and a shovel, tread lightly. Let time calm you. Discuss, don’t shout. See that a part of the problem may well lie in your mirror. Most of all, guard the relationship and be sure that your poor aim doesn’t affect it. Good safety dictates not pulling the trigger unless you are pointed at something you wish dead.

Finger off the trigger, breath.